9th March

I've been mentally writing this as I've been doing things today and now I'm sitting here with a totally blank mind! My hard drive got seriously damaged at the end of January and I've just spent a couple of hours going through the print out of my address book (which was the only way I could save it), emailing people with a circular note. If you're reading this and you know me and wonder why I haven't contacted you, it's that my hard drive crashed towards the end of last year too (I don't remember quite when) and though I have my old address book on disk I can't get it to open.

This was the first morning I couldn't speak to James when I woke up as he was conducting some sort of seminar (one of the reasons for him being in Singapore and also the main reason for not coming back any earlier). This will be the first night I don't stay up to say goodmorning to him as I go to bed. He's somewhere in the sky flying home now, so I'll go to bed early!

There isn't really very much to say. I'm beginning to feel very tired, and I know that after the first joy of having James home we'll still be in the same situation, waiting and worrying. We're worrying more now as it looks as though there's just been the first case of airborne infection. It's been really reassuring up to now to know that there's been a direct link in all the other cases. I'm feeling more nervous tonight. There's a fascinating (but gruesome) list on the MAFF web site that lists all the farms and all the animals killed and the source of the infection (going back to that horrible pig factory). Somehow today I've been feeling much lower - it's probably that I don't have to keep going on my own much longer.

A friend dropped off some shopping and we had a chat at the gate. It was so nice to see another face. She is not a farmer , but their business is connected with farming and is suffering. She was talking about how depressed everything felt. It was lovely yesterday when the vet stopped for a cup of tea and a chat. I hadn't realised before how many people I do normally talk to during the day, even if it's only going shopping (launceston is th esort of town where the shop keepers talk to you!). The vet was looking at our animals and saying that 20 years ago we could have made a living on a farm this size. Nowadays the farms have to be bigger to survive and too often it means that farmers don't have time to look at their animals properly. he reckoned it was one of the most important things for a farmer to do, just looking at the animals. He's a farm vet normally and says he chose that sort of work, because he likes farmers and their way of live, but 'they're dying out' (sorry if I'm miss quoting you if you ever read this!).

I'm having a problem with one of the cats. They're shut in a shed, and not enjoying it at all. When I open the door to feed them they try to get out. They don't know how to use the litter trays I've given them, so I'm putting cat litter from a 30 litre sack over the mess they make on the floor. It will be a horrid job to clean it out, and one I can't do on my own. The smallest one, Henry (she is female) keeps escaping. She is a complete Houdini. There is no way out. She was a half grown kitten when we came here, and very wild. Will had to wear leather gloves to catch her (we caught and had spayed all the female cats here when we came). Now she's nervous of strangers but quite tame with us. I was putting some post in the box at the top of the drive, when she suddenly appeared. I have blocked the 3 tiny holes that she might be squeezing out of, and tonight I blocked the last one, that is far too small for anything to get through. The morning after the first night I shut them, I found little footprints in the snow, but unfortunately the snow wasn't thick enough round the shed to see where they had started. The trouble is I don't know where Henry goes during the day (she's always around at tea-time). Is she travelling to neighbouring farms? Is she bringing back infection? Her escaping rather negates shutting up the other cats. If it's a choice between Henry and the other animals she'll have to go. Hopefully James will find where she's escaping.

I thought shutting the chickens up would mean we'd get a more regular supply of eggs (as they like to lay all over the place). It did for a couple of days, but I fear one of them must have aquired a taste for eggs as we've had none for the last few days.

Thank you every one, even total strangers, who have been sending me emails. It is really heartening to get them.

I'll phone BA now and check on James's plane and go to bed.

 

10th March

James is back. Everything seems a lot more manageable. I'll write more later.

Later: I'm sorry, everybody. I'm not going to write much now. The latest news is depressing. I was appalled when I heard this morning about last night's news and the sheep left dead in a field by a busy road. What are they doing? If the virus can spread on clothes, why not from wool? Don't those oafs in whitehall know that we have wild-life in the countryside? Did no-one think of crows and other predators eating the corpse and carrying bits away? They're talking of moving bodies in sealed containers. If it's safe to leave a body in a field, why bother with sealed containers? There are a lot of questions that need answering.

Next morning: I stopped then, and went to bed. Feeling a bit guilty about all the people who say they're checking this site every day. So, ...

I wanted to take a picture of the dogs greeting James, but my digital camers is 2 years old and not quick enough!

 

One of the first jobs was another prolapse, caught a bit sooner than the other one (those of you who aren't farmers, prolapses are not unusual in the later stages of pregnancy with ewes expecting twins or triplets. There is a difficult balance between feeding them enough and too much, and being inside with no exercise doesn't help). James's only criticism of my farming (so far!) is that I have been overfeeding them a bit. In the case of the hoggs, I'd misread the instructions he'd left and they were geting more than double the oats!

James tying string to the wool to hold the prolapse spoon in place.

I'm obviously not feeling so isolated at the moment, but I expect in a day or so it will hit home again.

One of my sister's wrote: Hope james is OK - what a horrible thing to come home to - apart from the joy of seeing you again, of course. A bit like a reverse situation of soldiers coming home on leave from the front line, I imagine - except that you are now both in it together for the duration

I had 2 emails from a friend in the early hours of Saturday morning, that I'll copy here. There are a lot of quiet moment s in the middle of the night during lambing, whilst waiting for a ewe to get on with it, or lambs to feed, and that is when these emails would have been written.

Hi Jo, had a fax from Pat who tells me that you too are hole up on your own. I too have been on my own on this farm!! My parents have been away for almost a month and are returning back next Monday.

How are you bearing up. I gather you are close to the outbreak at a farm nearby - how far way it is from you?

I have to admit it has not been easy for me here, esp when I hear the news like tonight watching those corpse of the sheep - I have to say it seems daft having them by the road. I really think that the gov ought to get the army in to help the MAFF with the pyre etc so that it can be dealt a lot quicker than leaving the animals for days. Are you getting the Western Morning News? I have the papers, post etc left at top of the drive - I don't allow anyone in - I had to transfer animal feed from the lorry into the quad's trailer the other day. There was a very sad but very direct and hit the nail on head, a poem written by a 13yr boy whose family lives in a farm next door to the Dunnabridge Farm (Two Bridges) and been told that their healthy sheep will have to be slaughtered to guard against the spread of the virus onto the open moorland. If you don't get the MWN let me know and I will send the poem over - it brought tears to my eyes this morning when I read it!!

I really do feel for those farmers who been affected, all the livestock up in smoke let along the years of breeding and the acquaintance you have with your stock etc. I don't know what will happen during those six months - are they going to be able to make hay/silage or will that have to be destroyed? what a mess.

Despite all the gloom (!) I have to say I have been blessed esp last week when I had wonderful message of love, support and prayers from people, it has been nice to know that one is not alone and that others are thinking of you. I had a letter from one Holiday maker who been visiting for several years now to say that they are thinking and praying, which is nice of them to write.

Speaking of Holiday makers, have you had to turn people away?, last time I had guests was over the half term week, the last day they left was the day when they accounced that Willie Cleave farm was confirmed to have F&M. I went out to put the straw disinfect out at top of the drive that same day! I had a fax today asking for a booking for the weekend of 24/25th March - I have to say sorry unable to do so.
Right now it has been very difficult to know what to do about the bookings i.e. how long is this going to last for etc - doubtless you know well what I mean - certainly the income will be way down this year but to be honest I am not worried just that the farm and the stock will be unaffected and I am sure you will feel the same.

How have you been getting on with lambing? Is there noone else with you? I have one friend who calls in if there's any message on the answerphone, I have to allow her to come - as being deaf, I can't use the answerphone!! I can hear the words etc but it is more like when you hear someone speaking in foreign language ie say Spanish or whatever - you can hear the words etc but you cannot understand - that what it is like for me with the answerphone. She pops in once a day unless there's no call in which I let her know thanks to the mobile phone!!

I have done the first part of lambing which went well, the next part is in April, well starting on 29th March really! The lambs are outside and are looking good. They have been lambing early - I had one ewe who decided that she could not hold on to her twins and had them at 8 days early! they are fine but you can tell out in the field that they were born premature. Funnily enough I had a shearling ewe who lost one eye and some sight in her good eye thanks to bird attack when she was a ewe lamb (very nasty it was) I think she has some sight but it is more of seeing shadows, she gets on well considering. She was tupped second, and carried on past full term - only a day overdue! Meanwhile all others but two lambed ahead of her and most lamb few days to week early (that does happen) but not the blind one!! Sadly she lost her lamb. I had triplets in another pen but they were bit too old for fostering whereas I had another triplet due to lamb and from her behaviour I was sure that she was going to lamb in the next 24 hours. So I left her dead lamb with the blind ewe which does not sounds nice I know - (it happened in the evening) but it was done to keep her feeling broody. The triplet eventually lambed about 16 hours later - guess what the first one was a breech and the legs was well tucked in, it would have made my job much easier if the breech was second or third born then I would have had more room to get the legs straight out! Anyway got all three out and gave the smaller one to the blind ewe, who fell into love straight away and start licking it so it was a nice happy ending after all! She has been very good mother and it was touching to see her caring for her baby!

Will be thinking of you and praying for you.
God bless,
Love Cathyx

Hi! I have just looked up at your website and reading about you! It was very well done and interesting - oh dear my heart dropped about your ewes (oats)
I saw that article in the WMNews about that poor farmer (with shotgun) in fact I was angry that he was left to deal with that situation - I actually let off steam by telling others!!
actually I thought WMNews have done well publishing and keeping public update of what it is happening but the nonfarming people wouldn't realised what it is actually like for the farmers caught up in this nightmare.
I had a shearling limping so I turn her over and when I saw her feet I had to check her mouth to make sure it wasn't F&M! she only had a bad foot but it is awful having to have that thought hanging over your head - there must be loads all over the country like us on weather hooks when inspecting their stock.
I have to go now, to check my ewes in the barn and give the triplets to be (I have five) their last feed of the day.
Is James back now?
Take care love Cathy

I am very happy to pass on any messages to her. Plus, she's got a lovely place for a holiday, anyone who can't get in here! When this is over, come to the West Country for a holiday. So many farms have B & B or self-catering businesses and a holiday on a farm is unlike any other.

It's not just us farmers who are on our own. One local friend who lives not far from the abattoir at South Petherwin, wrote:

 

I've been thinking of you & am glad to have news.I cried when I saw the 1st pall of smoke from Jaspers - it's all so awful! You must feel doubly isolated - without MAFF support either. I feel totally useless not being able to offer any help or support. The phones of my farming friends are always engaged & I can't visit them .... I'm laid off but can't do anything or go anywhere for fear of spreading the virus which must have reached us on the wind.

That's enough for one day. James and happy dogs.

 

 

11th March

It's been a lovely day in some ways. It's been quiet and peaceful and good to have James home. James noticed at once how very quiet it is. Those of you who have been here know that it is always pretty quiet, but now there is nothing to hear except the birds. The larks are singing and the hedges, whilst not turning green yet, are subtly changing colour as the leaf buds swell. It would be heavenly if we didn't know what was happening in the rest of the world. I do hope that reports from here will carry on being safely dull, and that every day continues in the same way, with the same routine round of farming jobs.

Some of this years calves. They're not looking their best after being in all winter.

I started the day calmly and then made the mistake of checking on the news. 'Everything is under control' says Nick Brown. What appalling arrogant complacency. I have just seen him again on our local news, seconds after seeing the farmer at the farm in Organic conversion that has just been hit, talking about the shambles of the operation to slaughter his cattle. I feel like spitting with rage. Not enough shots for the number to kill, not enough barbiturates for the youngest stock, people not knowing what they are meant to do. Nick Brown was challenged to come down to the west country to see for himself. One of his excuses was that he had to be in London to 'explain what is happening'. He rejects any suggestion that it is incompetent to leave dead bodies in fields and says that that is being dealt with by transporting the bodies to a rendering plant.

The NFU fax, I quote:

'MAFF in Devon have the use of 10 lorries, each capable of carrying a 20 tonne load (roughly 40 cattle). But each round trip to the rendering plant at Widnes takes at least 24 hours, including disinfection etc, and the drivers' hours regulations are imposing a further limitation. The net result is that one farmer in the Hatherleigh area who had been expecting the carcases of his 450 cattle to be taken for rendering has now been told that they will, after all, be burnt. Some of animals have been dead for 3 days already, but preparations for incineration have barely started.'

And then you see Nick Brown talking about transporting bodies. I am sure the plan to move bodies in this way (and it does probably make sense for farms like ours with only comparitively few animals), is because it is not good politically, with an election so close, to have great pyres burning so visibly all over the country.

Now that foot-and-mouth has spread to Kent it is even more deeply depressing. All those people who were just feeling worried before must now be feeling terrified.

James and I are both very aware that we are in a far far better position than most other farmers round here. We have an alternative source of income. OK, James hates going away. It's something he had never intended to go back to. But we don't have to lie awake at night doing impossible sums that don't add up. Stock can't be moved off farms. If farmers are living in an area where stock can be moved to an abattoir they will find that the abattoir will only take large numbers. A farmer with half a dozen bullocks ready to go might as well forget about it. Tenant farmers are getting their rent demands. They can't sell anything and yet they have to buy in more feed for their stock. If they do get foot-and-mouth they are compensated for the stock but they can't farm their land for 6 months. They can't make silage to feed any replacement stock over the winter. It's a nightmare.

Read the notes on welfare of animals during the crisis on the MAFF site. They are a joke. They insist that the same wellfare standards still apply that the farmer must stick to. Every farmer is desperate for the welfare of his stock of course. They list the minimum space requirements that each animal needs. Every stockman knows that already. They suggest that the farmer put up temporary buildings, inform his staff of new routines and if stock are off farm and need tending to employ another stockman. Are they living in a dream world? What is the farmer who is on his own, already overstretched, overdraft mounting, rent or mortgage payments due, when he could sell stock, selling it at prices below what they were in the 70's (in real terms), meant to make of them. Often he is not only not employing any staff but also working off the farm at another job to make ends meet.

I am living in a state of swinging from calm, peacefulness and thankfulness for what we have, both here on the farm, and in our family and friends and the love and concern we are receiving from so many people, to absolute fury and frustration at what's happening. I think MAFF is just overstretched and a staff of office workers has not been trained for this sort of crisis. They should have been , and thye should be getting leadership from the minister which they're not getting and they should be getting help. The army is trained to deal with crisis. It never looks good politically to call the army in, it means admitting there is a real crisis. But it will be much worse politicaly to call them in too late.

I've just been outside. There is a beautiful full moon and I have never heard it so quiet here. Nothing is moveing except for the odd little rustle from the shed in the yarde.

I'll finish today with a quote sent by another farmer. (It's also on my emails from farmers page). Thanks for sending this, Jim.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Hab. 3 17- 19

12th March

The daffodils are looking lovely. The house is a complete tip. I haven't touched the hoover for longer than I care to admit in public, but there's always a jug of daffodils on the kitchen table.

I've spent another day writing this in my head, and now I can't think what I was going to say. I've spent a lot of the day feeling angry and frustrated. It's a mistake to watch the news!

We bought the green oak timbers, that we used when we renewed our rag slate roof, from a farmer on Dartmoor. His farm is very remote, looking as though it would always be miles away from any trouble. I heard on Friday that his herd of 260 Galloway catle were to be destroyed as a precaution. His wife is quoted in the WMN '...my husband will lose his catle that have bloodlines going back 140 years to cows that were his grandmother's dowry when she came to the farm. He cannot replace them, however much they pay us.' and 'we accept the need for a cull. There is no way we want foot and mouth to spread to the commons and the rest of the moor'. But their sacrifice might be a complete waste. Other neighbouring farms are apparently not considered at risk by Ministry officials. And (to quote from the WMN again) 'the effect of the agonising wait for clear, official information and guidelines, wodering why such an apparently arbitry decision has included one farm rather than the next that is turning these strong moorland men and their families into emotional wrecks'.

One farmer on the local news today was saying his healthy animals were all going to be killed and yet there were still sheep roaming across the road by the the farm which had the outbreak.

The day here has been quiet and busy and blessedly dull. We sorted out all the ewes, dosed them with a cobalt and selenium drench (we have a mineral deficiency in our soil), and put 14 of them that were in too good condition, in a seperate pen where they'll eat less. There were 16 that were in poor condition so those are penned up together too and will get more feed. Some of them are beginning to udder up. The first lambs are due in just under 2 weeks so we'll get the first ones in a week I expect.

Henry. She purrs quite happily when I pick her up and incarcerate her again.

Houdini Henry was out again this morning. I'd worry more if it was MaMow or Tigger , as I've seen those 2 a long way from home, but I've never seen Henry anywhere except near the house and never near the animals. Still, we'd rather be sure we were safe with her. James had blocked up every little hole really securely and then Scratch got out too. Another search of the shed (it's an old stone building that we keep hand tools in) and I found a very small hole above the door that leads into the roof space and hence out of a tiny hole on th eoutside. I wouldn't have thought it was big enough. I've blocked it now, so we'll see in the morning. I hope this is the end of the Henry saga.

James is still jet lagged so got up a lot earlier than me. He was doing some sums whilst he had breakfast, sums that MAFF must have done too, surely. Nick Brown was saying that there was no cause for alarm, as though we had had 25 new cases in one day, at the height of the 1967 outbreak there were as many as 80 in a day. What he didn't say was that the average size of an infected farm in 1967 was 185 animals, whilst up to yesterday morning the average for the current outbreak was more like 850 and that already we had killed a quarter of the animals that took 8 months to destroy in 1967. This evening of course it is worse.

There was a very good page one leader in our excelent local paper today (th Western Morning News which always has good coverage of farming. It should be compulsory reading at MAFF). It is too long to type here, unfortunately. Basically it is saying every thing I want to say. It doesn't seem to be published on line. I'll quote a little:

'Anthony Gibson (our local NFU chap) ..declared, 'This is nothing to do with politics. This is people going through hell on earth'.

Nowhere .. do we see any evidence whatsoever of the sort of leadership required to lead us through this hell. All we get are sympathetic noises and attempts to ensure that everybody knows that none of it is their fault. Farmers do not want, and certainly do not need, the pre-election crocodile tears of insincere New Labour politicians. They know from bitter experience just how far down this Government's list of priorities they come.

What they want, and certainly do need as a matter of extreme urgency, is much faster, more efficient and more effective measures for dealing with this disease than MAFF has to date shown itself capable of. And what country communities in general want and need is recognition of the damage being inflicted on the wider rural economy, which ws already in a parlous state before the vicious spin-off effects of foot and mouth began to bite. Then they need swift action to address and minimise the damage....'

Does the rest of the country realise what chaos it is here? The Irish Government are quite right to criticise us. Our inefficiency is putting them in danger too. One reason for bodies being left to rot on farms, picked at by rats (which can carry the disease) and by crows and buzzards (haven't any of the officials seen a buzzard carrying carrion away? I've seen one seize a rabbit that had just been shot ), is apparently that MAFF are following 'correct' procedure and putting the aquisition of railway sleepers for creating fires, out to tender. And that takes time. It's hard to believe sometimes that all this is true.

 

13th March

All 5 cats were in the shed this morning. It's amazing how pleased one can be over such a small thing!

Later: I was pleased a little too soon as there was a mass break out a couple of hours later! All but Tigger had pushed their way out by moving a solid plank that was wedged against a window with a broken pane. I spent most of the afternoon clearing another shed (a concrete 'bunker' that used to hold the previous farmer's bulk tank), of all our son Will's stuff. He'd moved out of the house into his doss house, last summer. It was rather sad, having him away from home and dismantling all his decorative efforts (sorry Will! if you're reading this, but it had got rather damp over the winter). The cats are now ensconced in there. Scratch and Henry really hate it. They were used to the shed, which is full of nooks and crannies, and where they were fed in wet weather anyway. The new place feels more like being shut in.

Cats and chickens in happier days!

Another quiet day. James showered and washed his hair and put on clean clothes and went to get some farming supplies and went to see his mother up the road. Being under a form D we have to change clothes and wash all over when we leave the farm. I haven't left the farm for more than a week. When I wash and shower in the evening I'm too tired to go out and there's no time during the day. James had to get on with paper work that he needs to get out of the way before lambing.

I've just been on a local radio Cornwall phone-in. it was a bit nervewracking. I've just phoned the friend who told me about it and she didn't hear me! if any of you did hear me I'd love to have some feed back other than James (who is just a little prejudiced in my favour!). I was saying, among other things, that we are lucky (I hope, we're still not out of the quarantine time) that the outbreak here was dealt with so responsibly. The animals at Jasper's were being properly monitored, they killed them quickly and burnt them quickly (using their own men) and whilst waiting for them to burn they were on 24 hour 'fox watch' against all predators. My main worry now is it spreading from the East thanks to MAFF's incompetence. Why don't they bring the army in?

On the local TV they showed a field of sheep that hadn't been fed for 5 days. There was no grass, and the farmer and his wife were not being allowed out of their farm house to feed them. Why isn't the RSPCA getting on to MAFF? If MAFF hasn't the manpower to feed the sheep, get the army. The army is normally doing exercises on Dartmoor. They are having to cancel those, and go abroad for training. What better training could they have, than helping in this emergency? To me, the main reason for having armed forces is to have a well trained body of men ready to help out in troubled times, either here or around the world.

Nick Brown is talking about slaughtering half a million sheep. Why? Does he think it sounds as thought the Government is doing something, taking decisive action? Even if you look at it in purely monetary terms (and I don't), it would cost a lot less than compensating the farmer for the loss of his ewes and paying for materials and man power to burn them, if they called in the army to put up temporary shelters (and they need only be straw bales, nothing elaborate), feed the sheep and provide some basic husbandry. It doesn't take much training to learn the basic essentials, like making sure the lamb's airway is clear of mucus, and it's navel is iodined. A lot of sheep have to manage on their own as it is.

Are people as unconnected with farming as I used to be, as angry with this mismanagement as I am? Does the rest of the country actually care? I was shocked a couple of days ago, to see that not only was horse racing going ahead all over the country, but the queen mother was enjoying a day out at the races. The TV cameras showed a pathetic dribble of disinfectant being put on the outer edge of the wheels of her buggy. What signal is that sending out to the general public?

It's not just for farmers that this outbreak of foot and mouth needs to be brought under control (and no, Minister, it is NOT under control now). Countless businesses in the countryside are suffering and they have very little hope of any compensation. The economy of the country as a whole will very soon be feeling the effects. Agriculture as such might bring in a very small proportion of the GNP but its influence is much greater than Whitehall has taken into account.

I had an email from an American friend in New York today:

.................My mother-in-law said the British ambassador who was
speaking on a local Chicago TV station was saying the situation was nothing
to speak of... she said it was very odd... he heads next to Texas,... sounds
like an odd political agenda to both of us... he's going to all of our major
cattle producing areas, saying nothing is going on ! Hello, something smells
funny here. Why are they worried about us being alarmed... how easily can it
travel here? Actually the minute you mention birds ... then things travel
all over the darn place ... we have had that scary West Nile virus that
mosquitos carry, but they bite birds who then carry it different places,
etc... then there is Lyme disease... when you come right down to it we have a
very tiny planet...the sooner people realize how inter-connected everything
is the better... also how easily e- bola, West Nile or any dread disease can
travel thanks to air travel & other swift transport...............

'odd political agenda' could be said about activities here too. Presumably he is acting on Government instructions. Why?

A London friend phoned last night, saying why not let the disease run its course, after all it wasn't a fatal disease. True, animals can recover, but 90% mortality in lambs is not just a financial loss but an emotional trauma. If you don't know about lambing, look at my diary pages from this time 2 years ago, at www.eastpenrest.freeserve.co.uk/diary9.htm and there are lots of pages on lambing, I hope conveying something of the love and care that goes into it. As to pigs, their trotters can fall off. There are some gruesome pictures of the pigs that were in the original outbreak up North on the MAFF web site. How could that so-called farmer not have noticed his animals were ill and suffering? I should imagine he either didn't bother to look at them (automatic feeders might be 'efficient' but they allow for horrible neglect) or he looked and didn't care, as he only had the animals there to fatten up for slaughter.

a cow's tongue (photo taken by Matt, from Korea, when he was here, wwoofing, a year ago

In cows it sounds too dreadful to even think about. If you've looked at cows at all closely you will see how important their tongues are. They are long, like sandpaper on one side, and used to pull grass, hay or silage, to groom themselves and each other , to lick their nostrils. Can you imagine losing the skin off your tongue and not being able to eat without it? I quote from the Times here, from a farmer in Shebbear in Devon:

'Anyone who thinks animals should just be left for the disease to take its course has obviously never seen it in real life. It was very distressing to watch them trying to hobble to the trough, their mouths all blistered up, and being unable to eat when they got there. Killing was a kindness really'..... and he was talking about animals descended from those bred by his grandfather.

Every day that passes without us catching it, I become more hopeful. Then the news comes on and there are more cases and it is getting closer from the East.

Cathy has just sent me this. Thank you Cathy.

Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isa 41v10

 

14th March

I've been feeling quite calm and quiet this morning. James has stayed away from the animals so he could finish this wretched paper work and run a few errands. All the animls have been quiet and calm as well, including the cats, which seem to be resigned to their new home.

James and Blackie (otherwise known as Rusty or Nipper)

There was a great bleating going on in our neighbour's field next door, and he was rounding up his recently lambed ewes, with a man in a disposable boiler suit. I hadn't realised quite how tense and anxious I am under the surface layer. My heart did its sinking, diving to the bottom of my stomach bit and I felt sick and shaky as I rang my neighbours wife. Her voice was immediately reassuring, and 'its just a routine check, Jo'. I still feel rather shaky though. I felt absolutely certain for a minute or so that the disease had arrived.

A friend sent a hopeful email this afternoon:

from an article in today's University Newsletter by Professor Phillip Duffus, one of our
Veterinary Professors:

"Ministry vets have been able to pinpoint all the farms and abattoirs
associated with movement of potentially infected livestock (especially
sheep) from the likely original outbreak in Tyne and Wear. Of the 163
confirmed cases (as of 11 March) almost all have been expected, ie
associated with movement of infected animals as well as some very local
windblown or human spread. If this pattern persists then the disease
will have reached its peak by the end of this week and then gradually
peter out"

I have been starting to feel more hopeful, and even wodering what I was getting so over-anxious about. At least, I did feel that briefly!

Gussie & Gertie in the snow just after Christmas. The pig hiding shyly behind them is Pomeroy, the Saddleback boar. We are looking forward to our first piglets next month.

I've just been listening to the news. They're talking about killing pigs in infected areas. They're also talking about the possibility of killing all stock in an infected area and for a certain radius outside it. It doesn't make sense. It's the sort of thing someone might dream up on paper as a mental exercise, but it does not take reality into account. If they want to take drastic action, why not take it much earlier? There was a letter in the Times today, from a Mr Peter Jenkins, (it's been interesting reading the National paers on-line) saying that in the 1967 outbreak, his farm was diagnosed in the morning, the animals were destroyed that evening and the troops moved in the next morning to clear up. Surely the first step is to stop the spread of infection from the affected farms, and that includes prompt slaughter and prompt disposal (with no chance of predators spreading the infection). Sorry! I think I've said that already.

Anyway, I suppose what it comes down to is that it feels awful. I've known that if our immediate neighbour catches it we'll probably lose our stock, but I never dreamed that there was a possibility of losing our animals just because they are within a circle drawn on the map. Hopefully it is one of those mad ideas that won't be acted on. It doesn't bear thinking of.

When is this thing going to be over?

 

15th March

I've just come in from checking the stock and taking the dogs for a last run. I love going into the shed at night, most of the ewes and cows are lying down, chewing the cud. A little later, the cows will make extraordinary groaning noises in their sleep. It's very peaceful. The dogs were invisible across the field except for their eyes shining in the torchlight. It's a very overcast night and very still. I could hear cows mooing on a farm over the valley.

I keep on thinking about the farmer I read about yesterday. His herd of dairy cows, a herd started by his grandfather 80 years ago had all been destroyed. He said 'I could go into the milking sheds with my eyes closed and feel a cow's udder and tell which one it was'. I used to think, before we started farming, that a cow was a cow, and certainly an udder is an udder. But each cow is an individual. We don't milk our cows, but I could still tell most of them by their udders. Big A, for example, has the largest teats.

Big A and her calf last June.

Here's James's contribution for today:

I've been back nearly a week now, and it's been one of the strangest weeks of my life. Here are some impressions:

· the almost complete silence outside - not that this is a noisy part of the world any way - but there are virtually no cars on the road, no tractors in the fields and almost no livestock out either - the birds reign supreme - heard the first lark of the year a couple of days ago which was reassuring.

· being keyed up the whole time, fearing the worst and hoping for the best - anxiously watching livestock and wondering if we're going to get as far as lambing.

· voraciously devouring news (on the TV, radio, newspaper, and via excellent and informative daily faxes from the NFU, not to mention the local grapevine) - I haven't watched so much TV for a very long time, even breakfast TV, God forbid.

· wonderful supportive messages and phone calls from friends, neighbours and many of our wonderful visitors who have stayed in the barn (friends too really!) - these are a huge boost and comfort in a way that is impossible to describe

· not caring about the weather (which for anyone who has heard me cussing the rain over this wet, wet winter will seem strange) - the only relevant thing is the wind direction - if we still have our animals come the summer, what does a bit more or less rain / sunshine etc. matter?

· a rather different daily routine with every single animal under cover, needing forage brought to it and fresh bedding put down - not going round the fields at all, so having no idea what the farm is looking like - I imagine the wild daffodils are out down at the bottom of the wood, and primroses too, but I daren't go and look (there are deer running up and down the valley in the woods, and they can catch and carry foot-and-mouth).

· knowing that our anxieties are as nothing compared to those who have already been hit and, worst of all, those in Cumbria and elsewhere who know that their animals are now going to be slaughtered come what may - how those farmers are going to be able to continue with lambing for the next few days in the knowledge that it is all pointless I do not know…..

James 10 weeks ago, taking hay and corn to some sheep. You might have noticed that I've started putting in pictures of what the farm is like in happier times.

I have been very humbled today by several phone calls I've had with farmers and farmers' wives. The strength of their faith and trust in God, that no matter what happens, He will help them to bear it has helped me enormously. My faith sometimes falters, and there are times when I just forget about God. But he's always there when I turn to him.

I'm putting this up now but I've more to say for today. I need a break though!

Later:

I shouldn't have stopped and watched the news. It is deeply depressing. There must be so many farmers in Cumbria in the depths of despair. The thought of them lambing their ewes knowing for certain that they'll all be dead before the last lamb is born makes me weep. There must be another way.

It is very sobering to think that so many people are suffering in so many ways just because one man couldn't be bothered to boil up his pig swill. True, the system that made it possible for him to do so much damage through his stupidity or greed or carelessness, is also at fault. But how much are we responsible for allowing that system to be in place? To let school children be fed on rubbish (it was the swill from schools and airports that he was feeding his pigs on) just because it's cheaper.

One thing that has helped to keep me going is a talk that Peter Bloye gave at a Harvest Thanksgiving in the Town Hall in Launceston . I can't repeat it all here, but basically he was talking about his sheepdog and comparing our relationship with God to that of the sheepdog to him. I don't know if I can get it across in just a few words (and I'm tired and need to go to bed!). Let me know if this doesn't make sense. When I put the dogs back in the shed after their run and Jess (who is a good working dog) looks at me as if she could cry, and yet at the same time so trustingly, I am reminded of Peter's talk, and think ' Jess doesn't understand, but she trusts me and loves me in spite of feeling it's cruel and unfair. I really feel sad for her, it's not what I would choose and yet I know that it's for the best...... We're in a dreadful situation here, and we must trust God in the same way.'

At the same time I feel so angry and sad for everyone who is suffering so much.

 

16th March

I check my emails first thing in the morning and it is lovely to find so many messages. Thank you! Debby sent me this last night, saying "... and so
sing your eloquent diary pages for all to learn from.."

Just as a bird that flies about
And beats itself against the cage ,
Finding at last no passage out,
It sits and sings, and so overcomes its rage.
- Abraham Cowley(1618-1667)

The rage is certainly very appropriate. James and I are feeling incredibly angry and very frustrated. Seeing lives wrecked is bad enough, but knowing that those who ought to be 'in control' are being so incompetent...

I forgot to say, for those of you who know Will, I had a lovely long phone call to him yesterday. He is wwoofing near Broken Hill and learning a lot and enjoying himself. It was very cheering to hear him being so happy and confident.

There is always a flock of little yellow birds sitting in the hedge outside the top shed. They swoop in and pick up the spilt grain. They've become a lot braver now that the cats are no longer around (cats are cross but OK!). I've noticed wrens near the house where they haven't been before too. I hope there isn't a massacre when the cats are let out.

I didn't sleep very well last night. I was thinking about all those farmers in Cumbria and feeling sick and angry for them. Listening to the radio this morning, there are the same complaints there as there are here, infected animals waiting days to be slaughtered, slaughtered animals waiting days to be disposed of and left to stink and fester in the fields, feasted on by vermin.

I have just come off the telephone to a farmer in Cumbria. She says, among other thing, that ‘this Government just wants to get rid of us. If they had the chance they would happily line us farmers up and shoot us’. She wasn’t joking.

She says they aren't dealing with the infected animals yet. They've been regularly hearing about infected cases 3 days before they're announced and then there is often a further delay before they're killed. Madness. She told me about a young couple, tenant farmers, with 900 sheep that they have just started to lamb. If Mr Brown gets his way, they will be left with compensation for the market value of their sheep (which does not take into account the fact that their lambs will be worth something - though pathetically little compared to the price of lamb in the supermarkets - when they sell them in the autumn) and no means of keeping themselves or their animals if they did restock, until they have lambs to sell again in 18 months time.

If I had spoken to her yesterday afternoon I would have found her suicidal, as she believed that all their healthy cattle were about to be slaughtered. Mr Brown in his speech to Parliament had said 'it will be necessary to destroy animals within the 3km zones on a precautionary basis'. He has since apologised for not making things clear; but it is unforgivable that a man in his position should have not known that he was giving the impression that cattle, as well as sheep and pigs would be culled.

The sheep farmers in Cumbria will resist any cull of healthy animals. If I wouldn't risk taking infection either to or from this farm, I would go up and support them. Where are the animal rights protesters?

Tonight on local TV we heard of a couple whose animals were diagnosed 11 days ago and still hadn't been killed. Someone came today but had to go away as he had the wrong bolt in his gun! Either culling is necessary to stop the spread of this disease and it should be done promptly or .......

I have just written a letter. When I've finished this I'll try and find the relevant email addresses for Mr Blair and Mr Brown.

Here is the letter:

What does Mr Brown think he's doing?

Has he told the epidemiologists whose advice he is taking that, when they are calculating the mechanisms by which this disease is spreading, they must take into account the fact that infected animals are often waiting days to be slaughtered ?

On 28th February, on BBC Online, the former President of the British Veterinary Association, GP Francis Anthony was asked, "The longer animals are kept out in the open isn't there more risk of the disease spreading because they are in the open air?"
He replied:
"It very much depends on the concentration - two or three animals in a field - if they develop foot-and-mouth and it is a very windy day - the amount of virus excreted is quite high but of course that is dissipated. One hundred cows outside …… . . . yes, there is a very good chance that that disease would be spread." And cows have waited days to be slaughtered. How much virus was excreted by the 130 cows at one of Willie Cleave's farms that waited six days to be slaughtered and that were dying of the disease they had it so badly?

Has Mr Brown told these epidemiologists that bodies have been left in fields for five days or more? The MAFF Fact Sheet no 1 on foot and mouth disease, says that "..rats are also susceptible". Fact Sheet no 2 says "make every effort to destroy rats and other vermin . They may spread the disease." Are MAFF so far removed from the realities of life, that they do not know that rats eat carcasses? If rats are susceptible to the disease, (and MAFF would surely not dispute the accuracy of their Fact Sheets) and if other vermin (foxes, crows, etc) have also been dragging away infected meat from the carcasses, it does not take an epidemiologist to see that this is yet another way for the disease to have spread (and still to be spreading).

It seems extraordinary that Mr Brown can stand up in parliament, as he did yesterday (March 15th) and say: "From the outset the Government has put firm disease control measures rapidly in place…" when the most elementary precautions have not been taken, precautions, it is true, that would almost certainly have meant making use of the manpower and other resources of the Armed Services. One wonders what possible political agenda there could be in not calling on the assistance of the Army.

Yours faithfully

Here is a totally irrelevant picture of Polly (my favourite cow) and the dogs. (I need to hang on to what the farm is really like)

Earlier this evening on the news, Andrew Spence from Farmers for Action was asking why the army wasn't being brought in to help. An MP, David Drew was saying there were three choices, to be proactive, to vaccinate, or to let the disease run its course. He seemed to be saying that being proactive meant to kill healthy animals. He did not answer the question about the army, or about slaughtering infected animals quickly, or about disposing of bodies promptly. I telephoned Andrew later. He said he had been meant to speak one to one with Ben Gill, the so-called farmers' leader, president of the NFU. When Mr Gill, who is giving the Government unqualified support against the wishes of most of the livestock farmers concerned, heard that he would be arguing with Andrew Spence he refused to be present.

Andrew Spence is going to stand against Tony Blair at the next election. Good luck to him!

It's getting late. I stopped to watch Mr Brown on a programme on TV. He really doesn't know what he's doing. He gave the impression that he doesn't know there is any delay in slaughtering infected animals. He said that the delay in disposing of bodies was a welfare issue for the farmers who had to live with the bodies but not a danger for spreading the disease. Who is giving the advice that he keeps saying he is following? Why not just try some basic common sense.

One telling moment on the programme was when a farmer complained that the licences for moving animals short distances were too complicated and unwieldy and cited his own arguments with civil servants this afternoon. Mr Brown offered to deal with his particular request personally. The farmer, very rightly, rejected the offer. It was extraordinary that Mr Brown should have thought it acceptable to short cut the bureaucracy that he himself has declared essential.

Someone from the National Sheep Association (I think) told him that there were flocks up there that had been bred over hundreds of years, and their loss would be an irreplaceable loss to the national flock. Mr Brown thought he was just referring to pedigree and rare breed animals and spoke of protecting them. Valuable animals don't have to be rare breed or pedigree. If he can make exceptions it throws the whole policy into disrepute (not that it isn't there already).

Good news - the cull has been delayed until the Chief Vet can 'explain' it to the farmers. Not that he's going to be able to have a meeting with all the farmers so I'm not sure why he's going up North. Maybe it will work the other way and they will be able to 'explain' to him.

I haven't said much about what's happening down here. Here is an email from Niel.

Pomeroy pigs.

Hi, low isn't the word for how we're feeling. Yes we are over run with pigs. We are thinking about killing piglets as we have another 4 sows about to farrow and we haven't got room to move the last 4 sows to yet, as the finishers, now weighing well over 105 kg, need more space. If we don't give it they take it by destruction. We normally kill at 80 kgs, we now have 30 finishers getting very fat with a further 8+ stores finishing per week behind them. Lambing ok, though we lost all of a treble as she had no milk and decided to become ill, otherwise we try to keep smiling, and pour feed in to the pigs sheep and cattle let alone the poultry.
I heard the news last night, about the possibly 2 mile slaughter zone, you must be really worried. You panic, making sure you don't get it and then they might kill them anyway. I'm so sorry for you if it comes to that.

It's after 1.00 am and I meant to be in bed by 10.00! I must try and write during the day. I think I'd probably write more cheerfully then!

 

17th March

I have been telephoning or emailing any farmers I know (and some I don't). I know from myself that we feel very isolated from the world just now. It is wonderful to get all your emails. If you haven't emailed me before, please do just send one sentence. If you know a farmer, even if you don't know him well, telephone, write or email. It doesn't need to be more than a brief word. Write to a farmer that you've read about in the paper. You don't know what a difference it will make.

It's lovely and peaceful feeding the animals. It's a good time for thinking. Mostly the thoughts are peaceful. There's something very soothing about cows munching silage. The Fatty-Fats, as I call the pen of ewes who condition scored 3+ to 31/2, are less soothing. I have to be careful not to be knocked over by them when they barge out into the central pen to feed. When they're all fed and strawed down and chewing the cud it's difficult to feel agitated. I was thinking back to the summer when I was putting silage in the racks. When I was cutting the grass I was marvelling at how well God had provided that we could feed our stock in the winter. Now I was wondering if we would be cutting this summer (if you have FMD you can't even harvest the grass for 6 months).

Silage bale in Broom Park, looking over the house towards Dartmoor, James's mother's bungalow a field away.

I have just been talking to the farmer who bales our big bales for us. He's worried because MAFF gave a licence to the farmer next door to our local confirmed case to move slurry off his farm. It is being taken in a muck-spreader about 3/4 of a mile, through a village where even the villagers have been disinfecting their boots, slurry streaming out of it at every corner. Mr Brown is talking about slaughtering animals within 2 miles of an infected farm; but the farm next door to infection is allowed to drop slurry in the road where villagers drive to and fro and here and there. Two farmers have separately asked MAFF for an explanation and have been told that 'the police have been and inspected and the road is not exceptionally dirty'. This is not a case of normal farm pollution. This is Foot and Mouth Disease. Why is any one bothering to take any precautions? It is obviously a waste of time.

The latest serious infection is from yet another dealer. The MAFF web site does not get updated at weekends. Farmers work a seven day week but the bureaucrats who 'regulate' them are not available for two of those days. This information comes from our local NFU. The dealer has cattle with confirmed disease near Longtown market and he has several holdings in the South West. Surely any dealers with connections to Longtown should have been investigated weeks ago? I have just heard that one of his farm workers is living in a caravan near where this slurry is being spilt on the road, at Rezare. He will be a dangerous contact. Has he infected the farm on which he is living?

All this makes Mr Brown's slaughter 'policy' seem even more pointless. There was a young farmer from Cumbria on the 7 o'clok news tonight. He spoke with great passion. His neighbour was diagnosed with FMD on Saturday. The animals weren't killed until Wednesday and they are still lying in the fields, not to be disposed of til Monday at the earliest. He had still, tonight, not had any notification from MAFF that he was now under form D. It makes a complete mockery of all the safe guards farms under form D are meant to put in place. He said, quite rightly, that this 'fire-break' was not going to work as by the time it was put into operation the disease would already have spread. There should be no more than 24 hours he said between confirmed diagnosis and disposal of the bodies.

Farmer Leyland Bramfield, a tenant of Prince Charles on Dartmoor was told almost 2 weeks ago that his healthy stock would be killed as a precaution. His animals have only just been killed. To quote from the WMN again:

'..the ordeal has been worsened by delays in the slaughter and preparation for incineration of the carcasses. Mrs Brayfield said: " The people on the ground are doing the best they can, but they've just announced that they probably won't be able to start the fire until next Wednesday because the Ministry has not supplied what they need. This is the one intolerable thing which we were desperate to avoid - dead stock lying around rotting for days...." '. If there was no danger of these animls being infected then they shouldn't have been killed. If there was a danger, then why weren't they killed sooner and the bodies disposed of?

Time and again we hear Government representatives saying that bodies are no longer infectious when they're dead. What can be deader than a piece of corned beef? It was corned beef that started the 1967 epidemic. This outbreak is said to have started with under-cooked swill. Were the pigs being fed on live meat? It is too serious to joke about it, though.

There was an interesting comment in Paul Stanbridge' s diary of March 11th (Paul is an arable farmer just 25 miles North of London who has been keeping a very interesting diary for some years). He said;

'....a small report in one of the farming papers caught my eye. Apparently there is a land fill site very near to the original infected farm and this takes food waste from an army camp. The army admits that they source meat from the cheapest (most economic) source and have used carcasses from areas of the world where FMD is endemic. No wonder the government is taking its time over isolating the cause of so much disruption and anxiety....'

I have left writing this too late again. There are a number of emails to put up. I have been very distracted by phone calls and by looking for sites on the internet and sending letters and faxes. Sorry everybody. I need another 2 hours on this at least! I've had so many interesting things to share. Look at the National Pig Association site and read the article The sacrificial slaughter of an industry on the altar of cheap food . It ought to be compulsory reading for all politicians.

Bringing in the hay that we're now using. you can see that Megan was a lot smaller!

Goodnight.

This has just arived from Cathy: "And the Lord, he is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear, nor be dismayed." (Det 31v 8) Thanks Cathy.

 

18th March

"Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all of the others who are so saddened by the tragedy that is going on in your country."

A message from a dairy farmer in New York State. It is amazing to be receiving so much love and concern from strangers around the world. I wish I could pass all the messages on to everyone. I have started pasting messages on another page.

The day always starts so peacefully. It's a time, feeding the animals, for thinking positively and just letting my mind relax. --- ---I wrote that sentence this morning and then I got interrupted and I can't think now what I was going to say! I'm trying to shut out the days events and think back to strawing up the ewes. Oh yes. Looking at them, and seeing one was lame and James treating it (a bit of scald and we use a peppermint spray, I forget what it's called, but it's brilliant on human cuts too), I was thinking what all these smug men in suits are saying about FMD.

"It's difficult to spot in sheep......This time of year a lot of sheep are lame." "If you're living in an infected area check your stock twice a day". In Devon, inside the 3 km zone, "vets or specially trained personnel will check the sheep every other day"......

It seems to me that it might well be difficult for a dealer who's bought a load of sheep from goodness knows where to spot. It might well be difficult to spot in flocks which already have a welfare problem. But someone who lives close to his sheep, a good shepherd, will notice immediately if there is something wrong. If MAFF expect a vet to be able to spot it, why not trust a stockman who knows the sheep? Vets sometimes know nothing about sheep. One of the smaller abattoirs near here had to pay to have a Spanish vet inspect them. The vet thought some ram lambs were ewes!

The instruction to check your stock twice a day says it all. We are telephoned every day by a very nice girl from MAFF. At 11.30 am she'll ask 'have you had a chance to check your stock today?' What do they think normal practise is on a livestock farm? Winter and summer we check our stock twice a day. In summer it means a pleasant walk round the farm, in winter it can mean a wet and cold trip on the quad to the bottom of the farm to check on such stock as are out. If there's ever a problem we check more often, particularly when calving or lambing when we practically live with the animals. One insomniac farmer near here always checks his dairy cows at 1.30 am before he goes to bed.

I was talking about this to a farming friend, and she said: 'oh yes, we're always watching them'. The Ministry vet who came round over a week ago (sorry if I've told you this before) said that in his opinion, the most important part of being a stockman was watching the animals. Checking animals is hardly arduous. Cows especially are very therapeutic. You can't feel too wound up when cows are gently chewing the cud. Looking at the hoggs this morning I was laughing as one large one thought he was a little lamb again and jumped across the pen with that peculiar jump as if his feet were on springs.

Polly and James

Unfortunately, both the public and MAFF confuse people who simply own animals and deal in them, with farmers. And then so many comments in the papers and radio etc. seem to think you have organic farmers like us on one side and all other famers on the other as chemical polluting intensive monsters. It's just not true. Cornwall is full of traditional, mixed, family farms and I would rather eat produce from their farms than imported organic stuff.

There was a horrible anti-farming article in the Guardian today (you can read it on-line). Talk about putting the boot in. "The BBC's lingering pictures of tearful farmers' wives seem to have evoked something other than unqualified sympathy. At last people are beginning to ask why we have to put up with all this........... All these were brought to us by an industry which pollutes our water, abuses its animals and engages in the wholesale destruction of our landscape, wildlife and archeological heritage. An industry whose practitioners expect us to pay for all this through limitless subsidy and inflated food prices, and then object to a right to roam". It is cleverly written and very cruel. Sorry to have brought it to your attention. I was just thinking it was lucky that most farmers haven't time to read such things and.. ...I thought of deleting it, but it might as well stay. I'll try and reply to it tomorrow.

The saga of the slurry continues. The farmer concerned telephoned James and assured him that on each of the trips out with the tractor (and it was going all day) the tractor was disinfected. Also that all slurry was cleaned up and the road disinfected. Unfortunately what he said did not fit the facts. I'll let you know what happens.

It might be immaterial anyway. A flock of sheep at Gulworthy, about 6 miles away has been confirmed. With MAFF's current timing the infection will be allowed to spread for at least two days and more likely five or six, and then, of course, there is the disposal of the carcasses.... A farm even closer is under investigation at the moment. We'll hear on the grapevine or on teletext before MAFF tells us, I'm sure. I had a lovely supportive email from a farmer near Lockerbie today. They are having the same communication problems with MAFF not notifying them:

"..since Friday night there have been two confirmed cases near our second farm near Corrie, we, like the rest of the neighbours round, haven't been notified of this yet and only found out through the text on the television. We weren't even told that they were suspect..."

The story about the army food waste, by the way, came from "Farming News" March 8, 2001 on the front page. Paul sent me a quote from it: "Waste disposer SITA confirmed that it collected the commercial waste from the nearby Albermarle barracks, which may be significant as MOD policy is to source beef from Uruguay and Brazil, where FMD may be endemic." with the comment "I have not seen this story anywhere else but I suppose that politicians are not averse to manipulating the news!"

If rats eat food waste and can catch FMD (as they can, see MAFF fact sheet no. 1), then this might be an explanation as to how this whole thing started.

I've been reading the messages on the NPA forum . It is well worth reading. I wish Mr Brown would read it. The people putting messages on it are saying what I'm saying but there are more of them! Make a bit of time to have a look.

I've been a bit up and down today. I had started thinking yesterday that we might have escaped it. It was two weeks since the infection locally and it had seemed to be contained. But again a large dealer has carried the disease in his animals. I hear today that someone who works for him keeps pigs half a mile away. If farming ever recovers from this, one thing must be stopped, and that is this dealing in animals from market to market. It would be simple to say that when an animal is bought it can only make one movement until a month's quarentine is up.There could be exceptions under licence for special cases if necessary. Actually there are other things needing stopping just as badly. One is importing meat from countries with FMD. Didn't we learn our lesson after 1967? Meat which is reared to standards beneath our own should not be imported either. If it is it should be labled as an inferior product. Imported meat packaged in this country should not be labelled British. Most processed meat products and catering meat is imported and it should be clearly labelled as such. Does any of that seem unreasonable?

One piece of good news. Bill, who has helped out here before, arrived today to help with lambing. He hasn't been on a farm for weeks, since he left his last place. The dogs were pleased to see him too. It is someone else to take them out for a run.

I suppose I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I've never before felt in this keyed up state for so long. And it's late at night again! This morning, I remember, I was thinking about all the suffering, and how involved I'm feeling with it and how I'm trying to do something even if I can't. I thought that in the past there have been too many times when I've thought 'poor x' or 'what a shame' or 'something ought to be done about it' and I haven't done anything. So I'm saying publicly, and you can hold me to it!, that I'll act on my good intentions, that I'll never write a letter in my head and not put it on paper and post it again.

Driving bullocks up the road. I'm putting this in as I don't know when we'll be able to do this again.

I'm finishing today on an apology again. Sorry I'm just too tired to write coherently. I've been trying to write letters to newspapers and they're just not working. it's 12.30 and I'll do better tomorrow I hope.

 

19th March

"All my life I have looked forward to and expected to see the lambs playing in the fields and nestling close to their mothers to keep themselves warm. Seeing all the empty fields makes us all realise just how terrifying this illness is. Please know that the whole of the UK are rooting for you and every farmer".

This from a stranger from Kent. Thank you, Karen.

It's the middle of the afternoon now. I'm trying to put myself back into how I was feeling this morning.

It was a very cold night and there was a heavy frost. We have turned the central heating off to conserve our oil as we haven't got the means to disinfect an oil tanker. Anyone who's been here will know that our drive ( a grand name for it, it's a rather rutted track) runs steeply down from the road. Disinfectant would just run straight down and into the stream. We have enough oil to keep the Aga going for a while, and plenty of wood for the woodburner.

Walking with the dogs, the fields were all white with frost. There was a bitter cruel wind blowing from the South East, where there has just been an outbreak at Gulworthy. Is the infection blowing to us on the wind? It's closing in on us. There is a farm being investigated at the moment, just over a mile away. The dogs still make me smile, Jess and Megan having a tussle, whilst Patch runs round and round them.

Going into the shed with the ewes and cows it is impossible not to feel happy. They are all so quiet and calm, except for the brief mad rush as the ewes come out of their pens for 'cake'. They are getting very large now, and when they lie down they sort of spread, a bit like large meringues, I'll try to get a picture. I've been reading through our visitor's book, and someone (who stayed during a week of horrendous weather!) wrote: " .... nothing could stop the power of restoration that permeates the Barn and the whole farm..". It's something that is almost tangible right now. Part of it comes from being so close to such simple trusting creatures, but God is very much with us here. Whatever happens.

I've just come back from my late afternoon "sheep and cow therapy". They are all fed and looking well. We'll check them again later. At this time of year we'd be checking them anyway, as the ewes are close to lambing and the first lamb always comes early. Bill has been clearing all the old bikes, lawnmowers, flowerpots, etc. out of the second pigstye and pressurewashing it. Gussie and Gertie seemed to enjoy watching him. Pigs are very sociable. They always grunt happily when they see us. It's not just for food! (Or am I fooling myself?). The first piglets are due on the 1st April. The sows (gilts is actually what they are, ie. young sows) must be in separate styes in case they lie on each other's young. The styes face each other so they still have company. It's a great relief to have Bill back as he knows about pigs and we've never kept them before.

Vets and slaughtermen are feeling the strain. A vet on TV was saying that in 25 years of being a vet this had been the worst 3 weeks of his life. He looked drained. I heard how one young slaughterman, gently holding a lamb so the vet could give it a lethal injection (lambs are injected rather than shot), said "bye bye mate" to the lamb. It was too much for the vet and she burst into tears. I cried when I heard it.

The slurry saga was unfortunately not over. We were assured by MAFF that the licence to spread had been revoked, but it began again. Our friend blocked the road with his landrover and the police were called. The licence had not been revoked and the police told the farmer's wife that they would have to arrest her for blocking their quiet country lane. It would have made a good story if they had, the farmer's wife trying to defend her animals against FMD! Phone calls were made and the licence was finally revoked. All round the country farmers are doing their best, and supporting each other. Everyone else here has been brilliant. We can't visit each other but we telephone a lot and we are all taking as much care as we can. The farmer's wife was feeling a bit down, but she was off shortly to milk the cows. She agreed that cows can be a great comfort and a wonderful calming influence. They all have names, Foxglove (who's really special), Nancy, etc.

If you didn't see the 7.00 pm Channel 4 News, look at it on the internet (just checked and the printed version doesn't say much - there is a video though). It was brilliant. It was heart rending to see a strong farmer in tears for his cows, it was difficult not to cry. A Professor Anderson, one of Nick Brown's advisers, ("I am only acting on expert advice.." remember?) said that there was too long a gap between diagnosis and slaughter and that was when the animals were most infectious. An army expert said that the army could mobilise in 12 hours and had all the necessary equipment. There was more too. It was such a boost hearing people voicing what we have been saying all along. But it seems even stranger that nothing has been done. Is Mr Brown living on another planet?

Apparently all the hunts have offered their licenced slaughtermen to help. They know the local farmers and could speed things up. But the Government think it wouldn't look good if they made use of them. They only seem to be thinking of their wretched election. Channel 4 web site is conducting a poll on whether the elections should be held. Vote now!

The Chief Vet, Jim Scudamore, said he was going to Cumbria to "meet with the farmers". I had wondered how he could meet with farmers who were stuck on their farms; but I was horrified to see him walking past the farmers outside his meeting room. It is bizarre. It adds to the feeling of frustration that we're all feeling, knowing that the ordinary farmer on the ground is not being listened to. Why not join 'Farmers For Action'? You don't need to be a farmer to join. The more members they have, the more difficult it will be for the government to say that the NFU is the only body to represent farmers. FFA are viewed with extreme suspicion by the Government, which says a lot in their favour! (Saying which, Ben Gill, the Minister's yes man, is fortunately not typical of all the local representatives. Is Ben Gill thinking about his retirement knighthood? That's probably unfair. But he seems as out of his depth as Nick Brown).

James has just come down from checking the animals. All quiet. I've got emails to write and then I'll try and get to bed in good time. Tomorrow I'm going to do some necessary shopping in preparation for lambing. It's rather a lot to get someone else to do. I'll scrub myself as I leave and as I return and I'll spend a bit of time with my mother-in-law up the road. It will be very strange as I haven't left the farm for over 2 weeks.

Rainbows are special. They always make me feel hopeful. The little stone building is the privy. (We do have indoor plumbing too!)

 

20th March

8.00 am

Heard the headlines about 5.30 am. The army has been called in. YES!!!!! (I never thought I'd be in a situation where I would be pleased to hear that.) Then I heard the details at 6.00. The army is 100 men from the Military Police, to advise. If they thought their advice would make such a difference why didn't they bring them in sooner? If they advise that troops need to be brought in will their advice be followed?

I am sure every farmer must be deeply reassured to hear this morning that Mr Brown is "standing shoulder to shoulder with farmers"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

later: I've just come back from the animals. This morning, looking at them, I was very close to tears. I rubbed all the cows and calves noses as they were eating their silage. Small, who is our largest cow, is also our stroppiest. She bullies the other cows and normally shakes her head irritably when you touch it. This morning she was quite happy to be stroked. I suppose to most people a brown cow is just like another brown cow. It's difficult to remember the time, only a few years ago, when I wouldn't have been able to distinguish one from the other. They don't have different markings like Friesian cows, but every face is different. They're different characters too. Polly is my favourite. She is wonderfully gentle.

I have just been on the phone to the vet to order any medicines we might need during lambing. Our vet is out helping the Ministry. I started explaining to the new secretary that I was ordering as if we were going to be lambing. We have to carry on as if the animals will still be here next week. Poor girl! I found I was suddenly crying and it was very difficult to speak.

I'm typing this with the phone tucked under my ear, while it rings and rings at the MAFF helpline in Exeter. I got the number from the Cornwall branch of MAFF in Truro. Truro cannot tell me what has happened about the infected sheep at Gulworthy, only two miles from the Cornwall border. Are they still out in the field, the virus released to the gale force wind that is blowing here from that direction? The chances are fairly high I should think. The phone is still .....no it isn't I've got the sorry no reply message.

Finally got through to someone and he'll phone back in ten minutes...... an hour later. I've got to go.

Evening:

Cathy has just sent me this, (with a lovely long email): "May God bless you, may He protect you and may He surround you with His shield of favour, that you may be glad." based on Psalm 5:11 &12. Thanks Cathy. I am absolutely sure that whatever happens we will get through it. What worries me are those people already pushed to the brink by five years in which farm incomes have dropped by 75%.

I heard, just as I was going out, that the sheep at Gulworthy which were confirmed on Friday apparently, were killed today. But no one could tell me if they were out in the open before then. The wind is icy cold and very strong. I didn't sleep for long last night, a combination of disturbed thoughts and the noise of the wind. Unfortunately the virus likes the cold.

Our gateway blocked by my car, with a box for the post.

Before I went out I showered and washed my hair and changed my clothes. I wore a coat that I wouldn't wear on the farm. My car is parked outside the gate, so I went up in my boots, disinfected them, and changed into shoes by the car. Maria, our lovely vegetable van lady, had left me a good supply of vegetables by the car. It felt very strange and somehow dangerous to be out on the road. I expected to be out for two hours at the most, but it took me an hour and a half to get into Launceston (under five miles away!).

First I stopped for a chat with my mother-in-law. She was being taken out to lunch by some cousins. Then I stopped at the village shop and chatted for half an hour. Then I did the same at the post office! Launceston was quieter than I have ever seen it. Normally, on a Tuesday, which was the market day until quite recently, the streets are full of people stopped and chatting to each other, and old farmers standing in shop doorways with their friends, waiting for their wives. Tuesday is a lovely day to shop in Launceston. There is a small farmers and WI market in the Town Hall, where Alison and Judith provide coffee and delicious home made cakes and the town square is full of people. Normally I would bump into several people I know, but today there were only a few strangers, heads down against the bitter driving rain.

It still took a long while to do the shopping though. I ended up being out for almost five hours. Everyone, in the Chemists, the Bakers, the Greengrocers, the Butchers, the Stationers, and the Farm Supply shop, had something to say. Absolutely without exception they were critical of the government's handling of the crisis. There was contempt for what is seen as Blair's cowardice "where is he hiding?" Again and again people were wondering why the army was not being made use of. There was a lot of sympathy for farmers and also for the men having to carry out the work of slaughtering. Above all there was anger. A strong steady anger. The sort that lasts. I wonder if the Government have any idea of the strength of feeling of people in small rural businesses?

It was very interesting at the vet's. Our own vet is out working for the Ministry and says that these army men and women will make a lot of difference. A lot has been made of the shortage of vets, and it has been used as an excuse for some of the delay in slaughtering. Did you know that the vets, after they have confirmed the diagnosis, have to stay and organise the slaughter and disposal? There hasn't been any one else to do it. It sounds extraordinary. It means that instead of only being on a farm for a day, the vet is there for probably three before he can leave and wait his (how many days now? it was eight, but I think it's only three now) time before he can visit a farm again. The military police can take over the organisational side of things and free up the vets. I cannot say for sure if this has been the situation everywhere, but it seems likely. Just writing about it now, I feel.... angry, yes, but also finding it so unbelievable, I can't find the right words. Frustrated rage?

On the TV this evening we heard that the most likely explanation that the government was not bringing in the army was that MAFF would have to pay for it out of its own funds, and the Treasury was saying "no". It's a very plausible suggestion. Another, from a friend,is ..."the forces have been so depleted that they can no longer even rotate their active duties and R&R and training times adequately. Training time is being cut and cut as they fulfil their active role. .........We are being left with absolutely no spare capacity in any of the essential services, thus any response to any emergency is going to be woefully inadequate."

Other sources tell us that the armed forces have been on stand-bye since this began, just waiting to be called. They could be ready in a matter of hours.

I've still got a lot more to write and it's getting late again. I'm sitting here with my head buzzing. I want to talk about vaccination. I don't know enough about it. I more or less accepted the line that it wouldn't work, three weeks ago. Now I'm wondering what I based that conviction on...more Government propaganda? The arguement about not being able to export meat is not a valid one for me. We could eat all the meat we produce here. Why are we importing meat raised below our welfare standards to compete with our own produce? It doesn't make sense. I have believed that the vaccine does not work properly but I realise that I have based that believe on no evidence at all. If anyone has any real information please let me know.

The slurry spreading is going to continue tomorrow. MAFF say they will send an inspector to watch how it is done for two hours. We are all very dubious about it.

We have had some wonderful emails again today. Thank you everybody. I'm only sorry I can't do more than acknowledge them briefly. James and I laughed aloud at a question in one email from the States "My husband wants to know if you are sure that Tony Blair's last name is really Blair and not Clinton?".

How many parents are feeling this? "We find it increasingly difficult to explain to the children why people in the position of trust and power make so many mistakes that are clearly detrimental to all of us...but particularly to people like yourself in this time of crisis. "

Gussie and Gertie just over a year ago.

Gussie and Gertie were separated earlier. Gertie was moved to the pen opposite. They were complaining a bit but seemed to settle down. They are sisters and have never been apart before. I felt a bit guilty about them. James has just come back in from checking the animals and he had found Gertie up by the yard. The second pen had a loose bar that she had lifted, and on her way out she had knocked over, and raided, the bin in which we keep their food. She's now back with Gussie and sleeping soundly with a very full stomach.

I'll stop now as I have a few emails to write. I've been a bit behind today with being out so long.

I've just remembered I've forgotten to tell you. There is an extract from this diary every day on www.itn.co.uk .They have put a link to this site. They phoned me, yesterday I think it was. They did ask if I could possibly write it before one o'clock in the morning. I am trying! I thought it would be good for more people to know what is going on. I hadn't realised how excited I would be when I saw myself on a proper professional web site! It made me laugh.

It's interesting, that though we are in this dreadful situation, and full of anxiety, we are really enjoying life. Everything is heightened, not just the anger and sadness, but the joy and excitement too.

Now it's next morning and James has just seen what I've written. We've been talking about what we are feeling. I think I need to clarify that last bit. He says " but I'm not happy. I'm just really, really angry." Yes, the anger is there underneath every other feeling. He is worried that you might think we are enjoying the situation and finding it fun and exciting. Of course not. What I was trying to express (rather late at night!) was the joy we both feel when the larks are singing, the dogs are careering across the field, the cows are quietly chewing the cud, friends and strangers are showering us with love, knowing the certainty of having each other and the love of God. It is as deep and solid an emotion as the anger. Excitement? I did feel very excited when I saw myself on the ITN web site. That's just a bit of froth on the surface I suppose.

 

21st March

I have just had a document in the post, from Elm Farm, and a friend in the States has sent me the same document by email.

I'll write a bit from it here in a minute, but here is a link to the whole thing. Send it to everyone you know, MP's everyone.

The information in the article has all been available to Brown' adviser, Jim Scudamore, so why are MAFF still trying to pull the wool over peoples' eyes about vaccination?

I'll write more later, but I've lots of emails to write!

There's rather a lot of text without a picture, so here's Blossom, 1 day old.

Here is something James wrote that I have been sending out:

I never thought I would find myself singing the praises of the European Commission(!) but, while we have all been blithely unmindful of FMD in recent years, the boys in Brussels have been quietly working away at research and control strategies. I received in the post today an excellent paper from Elm Farm Research Centre which reviews the current state of play and the question of vaccination. Several things jumped out at me from this paper:

· The woeful speed of response by MAFF to infected cases actually contravenes a European Directive which requires slaughter and safe disposal of the carcasses "without delay" and with no risk of spreading the virus.

· With the strain of FMD which we have, every delay of 4 days means there is a new generation of infective sheep (plus spread to other stock).

· If vaccination is introduced, all immunised cattle and sheep are prevented from becoming "amplifiers" of FMD within 4-7 days. A reduction of cases to nil could be expected within 3 weeks.

· Contrary to repeated MAFF warnings, tests are now available to distinguish vaccinated animals from those which have actually had FMD (and recovered).

· If we vaccinate, vaccinated animals do NOT have to be culled (again, contrary to MAFF pronouncements). Slaughter of vaccinated animals merely affects how quickly we get our FMD-free status back: basically, 3 months versus 12 months.

The report's final paragraph states:

"With current regulations emergency vaccination conducted by an effective veterinary service with stamping out of remaining active cases, would at worst result in 12 months loss of the export trade. Surely MAFF should consult with the NFU and other bodies to determine if they would accept this financial loss rather than the enormity of the proposed regional cull."

Why are MAFF still trying to pull the wool over peoples' eyes about vaccination?

I've been on the computer most of the day, writing to everyone I can think of about this article. This evening a group of organic farmers had arranged a conference call. It was wonderful to hear everyone's voices. We didn't waste too much time on MAFF as we are all in agrement on that!

I'm doing my usual trying to think back to this morning and finding it a bit more difficult than usual. My head is full of the conference call we've just had. We talked a bit about the Elm Farm document, but though I had emailed it to thoeIt was a beautiful morning. The wind has changed direction and it has turned very warm. Such a contrast to yesterday! The birds were singing their hearts out. Everything feels more hopeful when the sun is shining.

I climbed into the round bale silage feeder to take a picture of the heifers and bullocks. I'm wanting to capture as much as I can of life with the animals. They stopped eating for a while and just looked surprised.

Clover, Primrose 2, Rose and Blossom. Blossom was born under a blossoming apple tree.

Bill has made the pig stye more secure and Gussie was moved instead of Gertie. Gussie is larger and calmer than Gertie. It is lovely to see them rubbing themselves against the edge of the wall. A pig enjoying a good scratch is so completely happy that it is impossible not to feel happy too! Try watching a happy pig for a while, if you get the chance. You'll laugh out loud. I must try harder to get a good picture of them.

Ben Gill is finally standing up and saying that MAFF needs to move faster. Why couldn't he do it sooner? Blair was on TV making noises and Brown seems to be lying low. Blair dismissed the deaths of 400,000 animals as being "less than 1% of the National Herd." He has no idea.

It's been a day without much time for thinking. I'll have a quiet time after I've put this up.

 

22nd March

I got an email late last night from someone who was anxious because there was still no diary. So here are a few words from this morning to get on with.

We're checking the ewes more often, as we're coming up to lambing. I sat for a long while up on the hay stack looking down on them, most of them lying spread on the ground, chewing gently. The cows are on the other side of the building. Most of them were standing, with their eyes half closed, chewing too ( a cow chewing the cud is one of the most peaceful creatures in the universe. The chewing is very slow and relaxed and the cow has an aura of total content). Polly was lying with her front legs tucked under, eyes closed, chewing slowly and making a soft groaning , purring noise. Big A was lying in a corner with her calf tucked by her, their heads together. He stretched his neck and rubbed it up over her neck, then back again. It's all very simple, nothing to write about, but very precious. To the government they are only statistics, part of the 1% that Mr Blair dismissed so casually on the news last night ("you must realise", smiling, "that 400,000 animals isn't as much as 1% of the national stock). But don't they think of people in the same way? Numbers in opinion polls.

 

'Meringue' sheep. It was a bit dark, early this morning. I'll swop this when I have a better picture.

Not all our animals have names. Most of the sheep don't. They need to stand out as real characters to get names. Big A's calf doesn't have a name because he's a bullock and we don't name bullocks (Ben is an exception). Our bullocks and ram lambs go for meat. I have heard people saying "what hypocrites farmers are! Their animals will be killed anyway, so what's the fuss?". Follow that argument through, and what's the point of life at all, since it always ends in death? Big A's calf will have 30 months of a very happy life (it would be 3 years if it wasn't for Government regulations) and then will have a painless, stress free death, and be eaten. Isn't the difference obvious?

Then a quick run with the dogs. Jess was in her silly "let's kill that stone" mood and spent a lot of time tearing up the grass round a stone and growling at it whilst Megan and Patch chased round and round her and the birds sang and sang.

Then some food for the pigs and a scratch behind their ears, food for the cats (the first thing I'll do when this is over is let the cats out) and breakfast.

Two interesting comments from this mornings emails. This from Hong Kong:

" Perhaps the Government or MAFF should be taken to court by those farmers wanting to save their herds by vaccination but not being allowed to do so."

And from Australia:

"I can see a huge compensation case in the offing once farmers realise (as they must do) what could and ought to have been done."

Any comments? Speak to you later.

Later:

It's definitely a good idea to write this earlier. I'm very tired. I've had very little sleep the past weeks. The suspected case near us is still not confirmed. Yesterday I was being reassured by hearing that a positive test is usually back very quickly, and taking a long time is a good sign. I heard too that the sheep at Gulworthy were right on the Southern edge of the parish, so further away than I'd thought. I'd almost lulled myself into not thinking about it. Then today I spoke to a farming friend who is a near neighbour of the suspect farm. She said that the farmers in question are convinced they have it, and their vet thinks it's likely. Apparently they have asked MAFF to come and kill their animals before the test result comes, as they do not want to risk infecting their neighbours. MAFF have said no. I do not know what to believe. We're both feeling a bit sick about it. It's not knowing...

There was an excellent programe on BBC2 this evening, farmers were talking about delays and mismanagement. Peter Coaker told how his mother had to climb over the dead bodies of his brother's cows for four days, to be able to feed her horses. There were very distressing scenes of sheep being shot. That is not the way to do it, sheep all together, just grabbed and shot. Barbaric. And so terrible for the slaughtermen. It will live with them all their lives. Sheep stranded in a field, "bundles of rags in a sea of mud.." lambs lying dead in the snow. One farmer talked about "the silent enemy" which was attacking unchecked. "The whole farming community would be wiped out". The pain and distress of the farmers was in stark contrast to Joyce Qinn's smug assertion "we believe we're getting on top of it.." My notes are not very clear, but I think it was she who said we would "eradicate for ever our disease free status" if we vaccinated. Is that a deliberate lie or just culpable ignorance?

We watched Question Time too. Baroness Hayman smiled her superior little smile at every question. It was a very frustrating programme. Question after question wasn't answered at all. It was deeply depressing. Out of touch. No wonder we're in the mess we are.

This is what it's like. From a farmer in Cumbria:

"I write from the Eden Valley no longer the Garden of Eden but the Valley of
the shadow of death where we live in fear of an invisible enemy !" I've put her excellent letter in my farmers' emails page.

The weight of Government inaction and civil service bureaucracy feel unbearable tonight. Surely the disease is enough for us to fight against. We are trapped in a nightmare over which we have no control. Is there any way of getting through to them?

I need to stop and think of something else........ Here is Gratna, and silage being cut last June. This is the silage that the cows have been eating the last few days. It's good to remember it.

"Hi. We have maff coming to check a bullock, ? Pneumonia,,!! slobbering and we have found a single lesion on gum? could be nothing, but as we had no contact with any one apart from starlings. Pigs look fine although we have had to farrow in pairs but with fatal consequences, hence 26 dead piglets from being stood on, not a nice sight.Though we have successfully farrowed in pairs before. Wish me luck, Neil ".

"HA! we've beaten you, the race to who's going to lamb first! Went over to the barn at 7.00am and found one twin had started to lamb. Only snag was with this ewe, she has been trying to prolapse several times before today. Last night I had to remove her retainer and push the prolapse back in - it was only a small one but if left alone she would tried to push more out! huh! anyway I had to push her prolapse back in (again!) and deliver her twins - lovely pair of ram lambs - they are fine apart from being a week early on the dot! I have just checked up on them, mum is bonding well with them."

I was just putting this up and going to bed, when Cathy sent me this (and she had a lovely filly foal born tonight):

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you, you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of great difficulty you will not drown, when you walk through fire of oppression, you will not be burned up, the flames will not consume you for I am the Lord your God. Is 43 v 1-3

Cathy's lambs, just one day old.

26th March

"Remember we've already disposed of more carcasses than in the whole of the 1967 outbreak!" Mr Nick Brown, on today's one o'clock news.

Something to boast about? If I hadn't heard him say it I don't think I would believe it. I wonder if he realises by now what he said? Doesn't he know that his lack of leadership is largely reponsible for that figure?

I've been sitting at the computer most of the day, that and the telephone. Every morning, when I'm out with the dogs or in the sheds with the animals I think of fairly positive things to say. I was thinking about how I was feeling, when I was feeding the pigs, and realising that I could feel myself smiling. The smile doesn't last long after I come in. I've just been out again, getting some sheep/pig/cow/dog therapy (the cats and chickens are too miserable, poor things). T47 lambed just before lunch, a nice pair of twins. We don't name more than the odd sheep, but we know their numbers, so James knew at once which one I meant (he's been in bed all day). W21's lambs, the triplets, look tiny in comparison. Another ewe lambed yesterday, a single, and we fostered the largest of the triplets on to her. It seems to have worked.

T47 and twins, just 5 hours old.

Later: It was a mistake to watch the 6.30 news just now. I'm sitting here with my heart beating fast, and breathless with anger. They've done it again. It won't affect us, but how dare they? They've let a hundred or so farmers hear on the news that they will lose all their stock, even cattle that have been in sheds with no contact with other animals. Does no one report back to them with the feed back they're getting?. A farmer was saying at lunchtime on the news that "it's been a torment", one minute she looks at her ewes and thinks "I won't be lambing you next year" and the next minute they're saying "oh no, we didn't mean that". Another farmer was saying that for five days she was begging MAFF in Exeter to take away a flock of sheep that was 200 yards from her dairy cows. "I was down on my knees, begging.." she said. The bureaucrats put the phone down on her four times. Now she's lost all 5 hundred cows. I heard today that a farmer with cattle next door to the sheep in Gulworthy (just over the border in Devon) has heard nothing at all about it from MAFF. But don't worry, Mr Brown has just told the nation that the Exeter office is doing a splendid job. "It's a tough job.." he said , and now he's showing what a tough man he can be.

The one thing to hang on to was the vet from the Cattle Veterinary Service, saying that it was a ridiculous decision, and the cows should be blood-tested. He said that MAFF would find a lot of resistance from vets in carrying out such a cull. But no one spoke about vaccination. (Click here for a larger picture of this for you to download and put up somewhere. more posters here) Apologies to the Irish. The Republic was originally on this map, and of course they have been far from incompetent.

.

I've just been reading Tom's diary on the Channel 4 website. He is a farmer from Cumbria. Read it.

James wrote something yesterday when he was in bed (for those who want to know, he spent the day in bed but got up and went up to the lambing shed for a while this evening - some more twins).

"Saw a briagadier on the television news last night (Saturday). He had assembled men, vehicles, equipment and a prodigious quantity of coal and railway sleepers in 24 hours. It was strangely reassuring. Here was a man used to giving orders and organising things and he was getting results. How different from the collected platitudes and sound-bites of politicians that we have had to endure for the past four weeks. I was left with two questions in my mind:

--What price the Governments "contingency plan" that it has been smugly boasting about in recent days?

-- How much anguish would have been avoided if the brigadier had been called in four weeks ago (as we were all screaming at the government to do?)"

I'll just put this up and go and check the sheep and come back and finish off properly (unless there is complete chaos up there!)

All quiet up there. They're mostly lying down , there's the quiet sound of chewing, with the odd sleepy groans. The latest ewe to lamb is making those soft whickering noises that they make when the lambs are new. She's got a bleat that sounds a bit like gurgling, bleating under water. Those of you that aren't farmers might not know that every sheep has a different bleat, and the lambs find their mothers in the field by sound. The latest lambs needed there 2nd iodine. They're good solid little things. I love it up in the lambing shed at night, the quiet noises, the smell, the oh I don't know how to explain, especially at this hour of the night. Something one of my brothers wrote yesterday says a part of it "..remember that it is what farming is about, that unending cycle that whatever anyone of us does Will go on and on and on. ......"

Coming out, the wind is strong, wet and cold and blowing from the East again.

Just heard from a friend that BT will cut his phone off next week as he cannot pay his bill. He can't sell any stock, and still has to buy feed. It's not just the wind that feels cold.

 

 

25th March

"What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit". Chief Seattle

First lambs born yesterday evening (triplets, and premature and small).

Anton's quote from Chief Seattle has been running through my mind. I'm sitting here thinking, and wondering how to put it into words. I was about to say that I'm thinking confused thoughts. They're not confused, they're just not very verbal.

Started writing first thing this morning, but it's now evening and I think this is going to be another day when you don't hear anymore till after midnight.

I scrubbed up and went to church this morning. I'm a Catholic but often go to the Methodist chapel in Trebullet. The Catholic church is the other side of Launceston and covers a wide catchement area, stretching into Devon. I didn't dare go there. Trebullet chapel is small and friendly. The hymns are sung loudly and with feeling. At least half th econgregation farms or is related to farming. A local farmer, a lay preacher, took the service. It is mother's day, and he preached on the parenthod of God. The little children gave flowers to all the women there. A young farmer, recently married, and his wife and another farmer's daughter stood up and sang two hymns in parts together. It would have been a lovely service at the best oif times, but now it was almost unbearably moving.

James has not been very well since he came back. Just a sore throat and cold which he was getting over, but today he isn't well and he went back to bed. He's been pushing himself hard.

The wind is in the East again. As I walked in the field with the dogs, I wondered what the sharp smell was, for a second. Then I realised it was the burning animals at Rezare, and I saw the smoke. It makes it a little easier to imagine what it might be like in Devon or Cumbria - but not realy. that is unimaginable.

The Government is doing its usual making of terrifying announcements and then back tracking. I am glad we were busy with sheep and didn't hear the news. I got this email : "We are shaking with anger and horror at the latest news and praying that as so often before they are incorrect. Blair MAFF Brown seem to give contrary statements to use the uncertainity to be as cruel as possible. ........... But of course every farm animal must be destroyed before the election so that the electorate have a few days to forget about the way they have dealt with it all". I t seems extraordinary that Blair MAFF Brown have so little feeling that they can't imagine what it must be like in thousands of farmhouse kitchens when the news of general culls is heard. The farmer and his wife, holding each other tight and weeping .... I find it very hard not to hate the incompetents at the top.Today in church we prayed for "those deciding Government policy".. I'm afraid I've been cursing them rather than praying for them. I'll try!

An email from Cumbria "I honstly don't think that anyone knows what they are doing, least of all MAFF. Its all put out to the press before they are informed about anything." and "The country is going to be short of milk as well as meat if this senseless slaughter goes on! I feel as if Cumbria is being sacrificed to save Blair's face over the fiasco of the government's handling of the situation. If it is ever over I think that there should be an independent enquiry into how things were allowed to get out of hand. The disase spread into our area via some sheep which had gone out from Longtown mart which should have been slaughterd immediately as dangerous contacts and were just left because they had no visible symptoms. Were they being penny pinching trying to save money on compensation or is this a new strain of Foot and mouth disease?"

It's after Midnight and I must check the ewes. I probably won't get back on this as i'd better get some sleep.

 

 

24thMarch

It's been a night of bad dreams again.

It was only when I was lying quietly in bed, thinking over the past day, that it really sunk in, that the government's chief scientist (remember Mr Brown saying every day that he was following expert advice?), on looking at the "models" that resulted from the way this crisis had been handled, handled by a Minister following advice given by the same chief scientist, was talking quite coolly and calmly of the inevitable destruction of millions of animals, with half the nation's livestock as a possible estimate. I'm feeling cold and shivery writing this now.

James scribbled this while he was eating breakfast. It might be a good thing to copy, paste, and send on to anyone relevant.

I can understand that a scientist, sitting safe in his Whitehall fastness, could calmly give out that half of the country's livestock were at risk of slaughter because of FMD and that he could do so without betraying the remotest understanding of the individual trauma that this will cause on countless farms. But I am dumbstruck when I see a scientist, the "chief scientist" no less, calmly giving out (for that in scientific terms is what he said) that half of this country's genetic pool of cattle, sheep and pigs could be wiped out at a stroke. Surely, you would think, he should have been seen shouting from the housetop "There must be another way". But no. All we had were the same mantras that "Vaccination might be considered as a last resort." What is it going to take to wake this government up to the enormity if what is happening? The enormity of the catastrophe to which their incompetence has brought us?

I've come in from a run with the dogs. Just going to have a cup of coffe after checking emails. What do you think of this, from Chris?

I am thinking that a comparison with the Taliban in Afghanistan would be appropriate -- but at least the destruction in Afghanistan is of inanimate historic objects, but the scale of ignorance and incompetence is comparable. Have they any idea how many years it will take to get a flock of sheep acclimatised to an area of mountain or hill pasture for instance? Should a government that can't even organise a firework display be in charge at the moment? I am sorry to say that these thoughts are the charitable ones for the cynic in me has a strong suspicion that there might be a hidden agenda behind all this as James hinted in the latest update on your F&M web page Perhaps it really would be an idea to have an election ASAP.

I won't write any more today. I won't put up any pictures today.

This was sent to me just now. Please copy it and pass it on. Anton would like anyone who uses it commercially to make a donation to Royal Agricultural Benevolent Institution

Attached copy of husband's lament as promised. Keep your chin up, it's all we can do and we will survive.

A LAMENT FOR MY GALLOWAYS

I used to have a herd of Galloway cattle, small tough hairy cows, who had lived their lives in the snow and rain in the Swincombe valley, for many many generations.

Where are my cows now? They are lying burning on a neighbour's field, beside his own cows. He had helped gather my stock into my yard, as I then helped him, should either of us fail. Strangely, we both found the wait was worse than the deed. Certainly, I shed many tears, whilst the scientists decided whether or not my stock should be culled as a precaution.

Today is my birthday. The day dawned frosty and hazy, with a red sun shining through a blue haze. The valley is often filled with fog in the morning, but it doesn't usually smell of coal smoke.

What is it, this thing I have lost? Cows are just cows, aren't they? Can't I just buy some more?

There are many levels to the answer. Living with and from livestock is something deeply rooted in human-kind. Domesticated livestock husbandry goes back to pre-history, certainly 10,000 years. That's a lot of cultural history.

At another level is the personal tie. Many of the animals that lie smouldering today are of blood lines my family have farmed here, for well over a century. Those ties have largely been severed. I am at least lucky enough to have had some stock away on winter holidays, off the moor. They may yet escape the chop. Some of my neighbours have been less fortunate.

Overlaid across the whole grisly business, is the loss of my "leer" (or heft as our northern colleagues call it). My Galloway cattle (who sadly were all at home during the critical period) grazed most of the year, on a 25,000 acre common, they didn't just wander about, they knew their piece of hill. I let them out in the spring, and they found their way up to their summer lodgings. They knew when a storm was coming, and where to hide from it. They knew where they couldn't go through boggy ground (100 years of Darwinism in action, I suppose). They knew when it was time to come home again, and of course, where home was. I knew when it was time to let the cows in for hay, because they would be stood outside the gate. Each cow learned all this and more from her mother and then taught it to her daughters.

The man from the Ministry had to come round with a valuer, to place a price on each cow as opposed to the value of the whole.

A Native American, Chief Seattle, said when pushed into signing over his tribal lands in 1854 (a decade after my family came to this land) - "How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us."

The steers, and surplus heifers from the herd were the 'produce', fattened on lower pastures, to produce beautiful beef (which had become increasingly in demand locally, as the factory processed 'red sponge' to be found in supermarkets has become further removed from how beef can and should be). Some clever souls will ask how could I allow such beloved cattle to be killed for food? As I said, raising cattle for sustenance has a long and deep root in our culture. I might also point out that anyone wishing to grow an equivalent protein-high vegetable on Down Ridge, Ter Hill or Fox Tor mire, would be in for a rude awakening.

Last week, when time was pressing, for should my animals have become infective they would then have endangered further neighbours, I had to get all the stock into handling pens, where a team of sure handed men despatched them, I was reminded of another of those lines that rattle in ones head…… When Shackleton's expedition were marooned on the ice, his second in command, Frank Wild, had to destroy the sled dogs. He later wrote "this duty fell on me and was the worst job I ever had in my life. I have known many men I'd rather shoot than the worst of the dogs".

Now the deed is done. I can give thanks to all those friends who offered, and gave, help and support. I should remind them that MAFF did a similar thing to my late Father, during a brucellosis outbreak when I was knee high. We came back then, and I'm sure I will come back again.

To those facing a similar task, I can hope you have the speed and courage that will be required to stop this awful disease. Chief Seattle went on to say "What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of the spirit".

ANTON COAKER
Copyright Anton Coaker 19th March 2001

---

27th March

Just to let anyone who's worried know that everything is alright here. I'll put the diary up later. (Later, I did try, but, very frustratingly, I couldn't get connected to Freeserve, and this message should have gone up earlier too.)

T here will be a a demonstration outside MAFF offices on Thursday from 12 noon for 2 hours. (put off till April 3rd because of tube strike) There will be a peaceful "pro vaccination" protest involving simple banners to catch media attention and hand out leaflets to personnel entering and leaving the building. Peter Kindersley (of Sheepdrove Farm) will be in attendance and act as our spokesman and has also volunteered to fund the cost of producing the literature. Please e-mail back to Susan Staunton if you want to be there. I won't be able to go, unfortunately. Susan would like to hear tonight if possible. susanstaunton@lineone.net.

It's been a cold wet day, miserable, and then late afternoon the sun came out. I'd been sitting at the computer, feeling rather low. Someone had emailed, cancelling the fortnight they'd booked in June. It wasn't that, so much, as the thought that we might still be shut up in June. I really miss our visitors. I don't know how to put it without sounding corny, but this little valley is a wonderfully warm and welcoming place. It's a place for sharing. I love seeing people who've arrived tense and weary, visibly unwind and be refreshed. I love seeing children running around outside all day and making friends with the animals ..... there should be a family here this week, sharing the wonder of lambs being born. Just the week this all started we had children here. They left on the Saturday, the day before we heard it had reached Devon

.

Bibsi with Megan. She was here the week it all started, and was out with the dogs all day every day.

I scrolled down the emails. Two from our lovely visitors. one from Canada:

"With these memories, I've found it difficult, even at this distance, to understand why the scale of the farm crisis in Britain isn't the first thing on everyone's mind. The agricultural regions are such a precious resource, such an indispensable element of life! "

And one from London, quoting part of a poem by George Herbert "to nourish the spirit":

The Flower

How fresh, O Lord, how sweet and clean
Are thy returns! even as the flowers in spring;
To which, besides their own demean,
The late-past frosts tributes of pleasure bring.
Grief melts away
Like snow in May,
As if there were no such cold thing.

Who would have thought my shrivel'd heart
Could have recover'd greennesse? It was gone
Quite underground; as flowers depart
To see their mother-root, when they have blown;
Where they together
All the hard weather
Dead to the world, keep house unknown.

These are thy wonders, Lord of power,
Killing and quickening, bringing down to hell
And up to heaven in an hour;
Making a chiming of a passing bell.
We say amiss
This or that is:
Thy word is all, if we could spell.

Thank you, both of you. I was sitting here feeling warmed by your gifts of words. Then the phone rang, and it was our friend Dave, hoping I hadn't started cooking, as Nancy was about to leave a curry up by the gate. The early evening light had that wonderful glowing aliveness to it and then there was a rainbow beyond the orchard by the Barn. Thank you.

I'm trying to use my anger as a tool, and not let it take control. It's a bit difficult sometimes.

Nick Brown in parliament today: "I don't need telling to get on with it and neither do the officials on the ground". No? A farmer on the phone this evening was telling me about her cousin's pigs and cattle still lying rotting on their farm in Devon, days after slaughter. Do farmers know that they are being "listened to and worked with"? (Joyce Quin) and "The Prime Minister has been fuly involved from the outset..... we have made heroic, herculean efforts......Our efforts have not contributed to the spread of the disease". Unfortunately their propaganda is working. I had this email last night:

"Is it all the govts fault? Well - it's fair to say that no one could have predicted such an initial rapid spread through the country. Nor could the govt. And it'd have made no difference who was in power at the time - at least this lot didn't try to cover up, and a lot of info was up on a website quickly."

Day after day we see how things are being covered up and the truth twisted. Joyce Quin today was talking about the sheep from Longtown and the difficulties of tracing them. It was two weeks after a farmer begged them to be removed that they were taken (I'm assuming that they have now gone, as promised). She said it was "not clear how much the sheep were harboring the disease". If she's telling the truth, why haven't they sacked their scientific advisers for misinforming them? And the worst of it is, that while they spend their energies electioneering, the crisis is worsening. It has reached Milton Abbot now. We can see that village from our farm. I used to like the way we could see the church and houses nestled in a fold of the hills to the East of us. now I am praying for a Westerly wind. And hoping against hope that the wave of anger that has built up acros the countryside will somehow push these creatures into action. But all we see is that they are wasting time trying to pass the buck.

Brown and Gill are talking about illegal meat imports. Yes, those should be stopped. but why are they both ignoring the damaging legal imports. Isn't Gill a farmer? I thought he was in pigs. Doesn't he know that the pig industry is on its knees already, because of legal imports of inferior, cheaper, meat? And then, of course, there are the Chinese scapegoats. Have they produced one scrap of evidence that a Chinese restaurant has been importing meat illegally? Is this one of Brown's urban legends? An email 2 days ago:

Blair is already handing out spin to the news, beginning the task
of putting all the blame on farmers. For God's sake don't let us
let him off the hook.
"The source of the infection was feeding swill"
No No NO. The SOURCE OF THE INFECTION was imported on cheap meat
due to Blair's refusal to take note of the advice and pleadings
of Britains farmers, especially pig farmers (and anyway could
well have come from barracks waste tipped in a nearby landfill).
"The spread of the infection was due to greedy sheep farmers"
No No NO. The SPREAD after the initial week was almost entirely
farm to farm due to MAFF incompetence and Blair's disinterest in
the Country.

 

Go to the Sheepdrove site if you want to help. There is a lot of good information there.

Sheep checking time then bed. Nine lambs so far. It's still fairly quiet. Next week will be busy!

28th March

Just a quick note. triplets when I checked at 2.00 last night. Two more sets of triplets and some more twins. I'll download some pictures and write more later. If anyone is telling friends to access my site through www.itn.co.uk, I'm no longer on the front page (felt quite disappointed) but on the interactive page.

T112 with her triplets.

I found T112 with her triplets in the pen. They couldn't have been born long as James had checked them before he went to bed. I found myself saying "you little darlings!" aloud. They looked so brave and small, surrounded by bored looking sheep.

It's very important that the lambs have colostrum within an hour of birth. I milked colostrum off the mother and tubed it into the lambs, to be sure that they had all had enough. (Tubing involves putting a tube down to their stomach and syringing the colostrum in. It isn't as gruesome as it sounds. ). It was very peaceful up there, the soft noises and the quiet expectancy of 80 ewes waiting to give birth. It's strange not seeing a cat up there asleep in the straw. I didn't get to bed till nearly 3.30, so if I don't make sense you'll know why.

I went up to the shed before breakfast. There had been another set of triplets and a twin and another triplet had just started. The singles were looking smugly uncooperative. If we can, we like to foster a triplet on to a ewe with only one lamb of her own. U18 was the sheep that had prolapsed when James was away. The first lamb was coming out breach, tail first, so James had to help it out. The next one slid out without the ewe even noticing, and then the third one had both front feet back. It was twice the size of the other two. A lamb cannot be born unaided if it's coming head first with its legs back. I hate to think of all the ewes that have been left to lamb on their own this spring, and dying in pain.

I've said before, it's impossible to feel really bad when you're in a shed full of farm animals. While you're close to them, everything feels so right and natural, that the mad slaughter doesn't seem possible. Later, watching the news, the lorry loads of sheep being tipped into a pit looks obscene.

The friend whose telephone is being cut off was on the local radio at lunchtime. A spokesman from BT said that of course they would be understanding of farmers. Why did their employee say "well. F & M isn't our problem"? His call prompted me to phone. I can't remember what I said, but another friend who rang later said that she was in tears when she heard me. I spent a long time on the phone to farmers living closer to infection. There is no money coming in, and bills to pay. There is a lot of worry and anxiety, but brave talk of the future too. Over and over I am hearing farmers say,( men and women who are in danger of losing everything they, and sometimes their parents and grandparents, have worked for all their lives) "some good will come of this, one day", "we'll start again", and "we're planning for the future, whatever it might be". An email from one friend, today:

"Do these people have any idea how isolating and mentally wearing it is to be trapped in your house, not being able to visit your friends, have a cup of tea and a chat, give each other a hug or merely go to town without having to go through a cleansing process which easily takes up half an hour and is expensive, not to mention the permanent threat of disease that could wipe out your livelihood any moment?"

She spoke to me later, and told how an old farmer, a friend, had helped to sedate his cows and then left the shed for them to be shot. He was helping to sedate the calves and was told "this is taking too long" and they started shooting them unsedated. I feel sick just to think of it. There are too many horror stories. And none of them have touched the politicians.

The Scotsman newspaper today had as its main story, the reaction of Blair and his crony's to the Sheepdrove docuument, and the editorial is worth reading: " What was the reaction in Number 10 to this bombshell? Pain? Contrition? Far from it: one key minister (Mr Meacher) reportedly cried out: "Fantastic!" Why? Because, since the start of this crisis, the government has had one priority, and one priority only - to hold a general election on 3 May. .......... Anything that stands in the way is seen, not as a social issue or pressing emergency to be resolved with all the concentration, effort and public-service ethos of a committed administration. But rather as an irritant, a diversion and something to be got out of the way as fast as possible in order to concentrate on the real business at hand: winning the fabled second Labour term in office."

There is a charitable fund set up by several rural charities, the ARC - Addington Fund, to help "provide a safety net under the trap door on which many are standing".

Sarah, who is one of the many hard-working, enterprising, enthusiastic, young farmers that this country is losing, as she leaves for New Zealand soon, promised to shave her head if she manged to raise £500 tomorrow night. Anton Coaker, who wrote the lament for his Galloways, had the brilliant idea that she should "auction" it. Those promising money can choose whether she keeps it or not. This is when she was helping us roll fleeces at shearing. her hair is nearly 2 foot long now.

Anyone local reading this, Sarah will be at the Springer Spaniel pub at Treburley, on the A388 (it's on a busy main road, so no risk of spreading infection in country lanes) tomorrow night. The pub's phone number is 01579 370 424 . But please, pay for her to keep her lovely hair!

Cathy has just sent me a poem her friend Gilly has written, here is some of it:

When lambing or calving
Time comes next year,
How many farms will be left bare.

When you see a lamb born
all wet and wrinkly
Trying to find its mother's teat
to have its first feed

To hear the soft call of the ewe
calling to her babe to feed,
To hear the lamb's cry for mum
......
To open the barn door
and see all the lambs
playing and springing in the air

OH! to see them asleep
on their mother's back
Rocking to and fro

.....
How it turns my stomach
To see all the dead cattle and sheep
Just left in a corner of a field
How this makes me weep

This life we are killing
Life which the farmers help
Bring into this world

Spare a prayer for them
Today, let them know
We care.

U18 again. Off to check sheep and then bed. hope nothing is happening!

 

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Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

Hab. 3 17- 19

Read this aloud. Reading it quietly to yourself is not the same. Read it aloud and you will be there with the man who wrote it, more than two thousand years ago............. and be there with the farmers who are saying it now, in faith, but with their voices breaking.

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Cathy's emails

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Link to National Pig Association, very informative F&M site, view the Forum.

Ask your MP why we are still importing infected meat and why there are no real border controls.